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Thursday, October 7, 2010

At First Sight Blogfest

At First Sight Blogfest

Jacee Drake is holding a blogfest today. Click on her link to check out all the other entries!

Here's my attempt at the theme:

Greyish-white crests topped the countless waves that covered the lake, but I wasn't able to see more than slivers of it through the trees. But in my mind's eye, I was on the shore, back on that day, waiting for Tyler to show. The chilling autumn wind coming off the lake had made me curl up into myself, rocking to keep warm, as well as to comfort myself. "I'd still be waiting," I muttered to myself.
"Do you always talk to yourself, Warden?" A painfully familiar voice asked woodenly from behind me. Warden had sounded ironic on his tongue. Like he was disappointed. Worse, maybe feeling betrayed. But he couldn't possibly know - could he? I slowly raised my hands.
"That uniform might fool any number of backwoods rednecks, but it doesn't fool this one. Why are you here? Who sent you?"
I swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of my throat and took a deep breath. I could feel the rifle he always carried trained on my back. "I'm a true Warden, soldier. Just not from around here, from now."
I could almost hear the gears working in his head. He had always spoke in riddles; I felt a sudden quirk of pride at having possibly stumped him, if only momentarily. Then the lump returned in my throat. The last time I had seen him, his lifeless eyes stared up at the grey sky, with blood soaking into the ground around his body.
"What do you mean? Not from now? And why do you call me soldier?" Anger rose in his voice, an uncommon occurrence, no matter how much I had often earned it.
I began to slowly turn around to face him. He was exactly as I had remembered, no matter how many years had passed since I had seen him last; right down to the grey stubble on his chin, and the scratch next to his right eye he had on that day.
The anger in his eyes flared, then confusion replaced it. He slowly lowered his rifle, but he never took his eyes off my face.
I swallowed hard, but there was still a crack in my voice. I left my hands in the air."You were right, Grandad. They have a time machine. And I found it."


DLCurran said...

A time machine?! Cool! As I was reading I was pretty lost at first and trying to figure out where you going with this, but so totally didn't guess! Hope you're thinking of playing with this some more Cinette - I'd like to see where it goes! :)

Brenda Drake said...

Wonderful--A time machine! I love time travel novels. So sad that she's seen him die in the future. I have so many questions that this little excerpt doesn't answer. Good job! :D

Mara Nash said...

That's it? You're leaving us hanging like that? What happens next? I wanna know!

Nicely done!

Francine said...


Great twist at the end, and neat scene expressing so much more than mere time and place. The crossing time aspect slipped in at the end does beg the what next?

Good read factor.


Tessa Conte said...

Cool! And I agree with Mara... what? Cliffhanger, much? No fair!

Thanx for popping in on my blog earlier today, I have my entry up now! I was a little late...

J.C. Martin said...

Grandpa? Time machine? Awesome twist!

WritersBlockNZ said...

Wow great hook! Awesome descriptions too :)

Rachel Morgan said...

Ah, my heart ached for her when I read the word Grandpa, because up till that moment I didn't know if this person she'd already seen die was special to her or not.

Tell me more, tell me more!

Dawn Embers said...

That is different. She had me confused too in the midst of the dialogue, but the end really tied things together. Nice work.

Liz Fichera said...

Wonderful cliffhanger! I'm intrigued.

Talei said...

Definitely a great twist. And a time machine, very cool. ;))

I have an award for you at my blog, do pop over when you can. ;)